I think a lot about money and business. I work with people every day who are working to grow their business and reach their tribe. The thing I notice most, in myself and in others, is that we all have some work to do on healing our money story.
I’m going to offer you a new way to live in your money story. I have to say, my own story has so much in the last year and I believe it can for you, as well.
At the heart of business and work is our desire to express a passion, to help others, and to make a living doing it. It’s a pretty simple equation. However, I grew up with a really negative perspective on money, and it’s taken me most of my adult life to heal my relationship with it.
I’ll share a few of my hard-won insights with you.
Money is not evil. And none of us are evil for wanting it.
Money is simply an energy exchange. It’s a beautiful tool that allows me to put my time into something I care about and to then have a common exchange for my efforts that doesn’t require me to trade for goods and services. (Trade is really cool, but honestly, it’s complicated! I love the simplicity of exchanging money.)
I really think that our relationship with money can often illustrate inner workings that have very little to do about money itself. For instance, I’ve noticed that my ability to charge more for services over the life of my business has more to do with my inner feelings of my own value than it does my skill and experience. Sure, they’re interconnected, but sometimes I have charged rates far lower than my skill and experience warranted, and overworked myself in the process—that’s where inner value comes into play. To move forward, I’ve had to heal my own feelings of deserving, and to be willing to ask for what I really need and want to live the life I want to live.
Think about if you’ve ever stayed in a job where you were underpaid. Or accepted a relationship where there was an unbalanced give and take between you and the other person. How much were your ideas of self worth impacting your choice to move on or request a more equitable condition?
The process of asking has evolved for me as my understanding of the truth of money has unfolded.
This is the money evolution I’ve noticed in myself…
The first inner money monologue I had was, “I want more money.”
If you follow the Law of Attraction, the idea is that wanting puts us out of alignment with having money. Wanting doesn’t feel very good. It feels like lack, like not having, and like a fixation on material versus spiritual concerns. Still, after much inner work, I still couldn’t convince myself the money I needed to do what I wanted to do was on the way. I felt like I was missing a piece of the puzzle, and was just frustrated with the approach. I could find a good feeling place all day about money and, eventually, I just had to cave and give in to my need to struggle in this area. And I knew I wasn’t the only one.
Thankfully, it didn’t stay there for me. I didn’t suddenly “get it,” I simply found another way to think about things that I felt was much more helpful for me on an emotional level.
Eventually my inner money monologue evolved into, “I desire more resources.”
That felt much better. In all honesty, I like resources better than money, and I can believe wholeheartedly in their imminent arrival. Resources are things I can use to make more art, create films, hire talented people to work on my business team. And resources aren’t just money, they are perfect collaborators, opportunities, health, energy, and time. After all, the resources are just the things I need to live out my passions in the physical realm, and things can come together so many different ways. A little muscle here, a little money there, a little surprise discovery in a free box on someone’s curb…
I was happy with this evolution of thought. I believed I was satisfied there.
However, one day I found myself going to a deeper place. One that really modified my feeling and my point of attraction. It was a juicy thought that was easy to put in my pocket and take with me everywhere, and actually changed my life.
My inner money monologue unfolded into, “I allow myself to feel nourished.”
Nourishment is a whole other level. When I allow nourishment, that means I am living in a state of plenty. I don’t just get the things I desire, I feel good having them. My inbox and outbox are in a sustainable state. The work I do gets to feel good and generate an income that allows me to do things that feed my belly and my soul. And allowing is way more empowered than desiring. I’m telling myself that I am responsible for what goodness I allow in. And I let myself feel good in having the resources that help me achieve my goals.
I look at The Empress as a card that holds energy for us to allow nourishment. She is beyond the question, “Am I allowed to have more?” She is living in her nourished reality and sharing it with others. In an Empress state, we have a healthy relationship with the resources of the Universe, not defining them as bad or ourselves as undeserving. We allow the flow and we put it to good use, for ourselves, and for others.
If you are feeling a block to the flow of resources for your endeavors, pull a card and ask this question as you do:
“What inner block is holding me back from feeling (or allowing myself to feel) nourished?”
Let yourself stew on that for a few days. I bet, as you compare this card to your inner state over the course of a week, you will notice a shift. Think about:
- What stories you were told as a kid about money.
- The patterns you find yourself in around finances and getting your needs met.
- The ebb and flow of resources in your life… Are they steady but never seem to go up? Do you have boom times and fallow times? Are you always in a state of urgency?
- What things you tell other people about your money story.
- How much you believe you are allowed to have.
- How you do allow yourself to be nourished in your life, and how you don’t.
Notice and let it shift. And then, invite the Universe to show you new ways you can nourish yourself, and how good it can feel to get your needs and desires met. Because, the only person who can decide if you deserve it or not is you.
I encourage you to decide, “Yes, I do deserve to feel nourished.” Because you most certainly do.
